It really has been too long hasn't it?

Talk about any old crap not related to your gear - "almost" anything goes
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guitarsatbmusic
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It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by guitarsatbmusic » Fri Jan 18, 2013 11:22 pm

Hello There,

HAPPY NEW YEAR.I will like to make an inquiry on what you sell. Before i proceed, Please inform me if you accept Credit card as mode of payment ? Also can

you allow my shipper to come for the pick up of the order?

Please include your website where i can pick item needed.

I would be awaiting to receive the reply as soon as possible.
Thank you and God God bless you.
Regards,
John Bless.

Blessed store Ltd
Address:46 Vassilissis Sofias Avenue,
Athens
11528, Greece
+30 21 0728 8392
Web:Under construction
Email:blessedstoreltd@gmail.com

--------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings John, and may God bless your New Year also.

We are a new store currently also working on our website but have just received our merchant facility to process phone and e-mail orders so would be more than happy to expand our business to Greek customers.

We sell many things. Our most popular items are haberdashery, millinery, mining equipment, LEGO®, tasteful adult products (both new and gently used) for the discerning modern Christian, laptops pre-loaded with our own "Oztraya, howya g'arn" chat software, Cashmere and mink thongs, WWII figher pilot helmets, live platypuses (platypii), merkins, and the finest hand-carved wooden scrote scratchers pre-loaded with sandpaper made from the finest sands of Carribean beaches.

Please let me know what is of interest to you and we can discuss the sale further.

I am very much looking forward to growing my business with the assistance of fine, international customers like yourself.

Yours in Jizz,

Trent from Punchy

-------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Trent,

Thank you very much for your response. I understand everything you
have mentioned and i am very much interested in doing business with
you and hopefully do more business together in future. Mean while i
will like you to kindly look on the items i listed below and get back
to me the prices and types.

WWII figher pilot helmets

the finest hand-carved wooden scrote scratchers pre-loaded with
sandpaper made from the finest sands of Carribean beaches

I hope you understand and i will be glad to read back from you.
I await your response.
Thanks,
John.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Hello John,

Many thanks for returning my e-mail and expressing your continued interest in our product.

I must apologise for the delay in replying as I was slightly injured testing out some new merchandise from our "You like that, yeah? You like that?" range. I was trying to combine the WWII fighter helmets with some swings and other objects and let's just say, when you're getting into it with so many tools you need that peripheral vision that the WWII figther helmets don't have!

But I am OK now, lesson learnt, all has healed well.

So on to our future business prospects. I have attached a selection of three of our most popular WWII helmets from Russian, Japanese and Antarctic Air Force pilots, model 125, model 767, and model 856. I have also attached images of two new large format scrote scratchers. Please note, in the images the Carribbean sands sandpaper is not yet attached, we do that when the customer selects the harshness quotient of their sandpaper upon purchase. I can show you how to attach the paper your end and will send you several samples to try out on your own yam bag so you can make recommendations for customers yourself.

The Model 326 is for a large fellow or for two small fellows to share. Model 663 is for the gentleman with a chronic beanbag irritation and must be used with care. Combining Model 663 with our ultra grit Carribbea sandpaper is ill advised unless one has great experience. I will detail these cautions and so on further for you in detailed instruction manuals for their use. I also have a PowerPoint demonstration available.

Prices are as follows:

WWII Fighter Helmets

Model 125: USD$36 each

Model 767: USD$76 each

Model 856: US$122 each

Scratchers:

Model 326: US$187 each

Model 663: US$112 each

If we have successful business with these products perhaps you'd like to then examine the rest of our range of tasteful marital aids for the discerning modern Christian I mentioned in our last correspondence. This is without a doubt our biggest business area and things are flying out the door so fast I barely get time to even look at the detail of the orders. We just flip 'em and ship 'em.

Please let me know should you have any further elephantitis,
Trent from Punchy
Managing Director
Madick Industries

Madick Industries - always remembering our founders, brothers Paul & Phil. They live in in our memories and the work we do each day

Image
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And the updated logo :)
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Hello ,

Thanks for responding back to my email,here are the items i will like to order below,

WWII Fighter Helmets
Model 125: USD$36 each--------Qt:5 pcs
Model 767: USD$76 each--------Qt:5 pcs
Model 856: US$122 each--------Qt:10 pcs

Kindly calculate my order only and get back to me with the total cost of my order and don't worry about the shipping cost actually i have my personal shipping agent in UK,USA and Europe that will come for the
pick up of the package in your company and i have inform them about this and they told me the best way to come for the pick up in your store is for you to email me with the information needed below,

* Your Company Name and Address ?
* Time the package will be ready for pick up with your convenience time and date?
* Contact Person for the pickup arrangement ?
* Telephone Number ?
* Weight of the package and how many boxes are they ?

So, please kindly get back to me with this details along with the total of my order so that i can give you my credit card details for the payment now.

Hope to read from you ASAP.
Best Regards,
Owner
John Bless.

Blessed store Ltd
Address:46 Vassilissis Sofias Avenue,
Athens
11528, Greece
+30 21 0728 8392
Web:Under construction
Email:blessedstoreltd@gmail.com

------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Blessed John,

Thanks for returning my e-mail and your continued interest in my nutsauce.

Are you not wanting to take on some of the scrotchers (I've renamed them, taken the scrote part and the scratcher part and combined them. Pretty clever huh!?)

Or perhaps because they are crafted of wood it could be problematic for exporting to Greece. Particularly difficult exporting to your chocolate speedway?
We can make up acrylic or titanium versions, please let me know if this is of interest to you.

We can discuss that perhaps at a later date as you touch your kin. The order is below:

WWII Fighter Helmetsl
Model 125: USD$36 each--------Qt:5 pcs
Model 767: USD$76 each--------Qt:5 pcs
Model 856: US$122 each--------Qt:10 pcs

Total cost of the WWII helmets you've ordered above is $2,640 without shipping. Mathematcially not right but you won't mind.

We are in Australia. You mention you have shipping agents in the UK, USA and Europe but I imagine you can pretend to have one in Australia too after this e-mail.

Just forward me their made-up name and I'll have the order faux processed for you and we'll take it from there.

Looking forward to your continued business after fulfilling this order for you.

Smashed agates,

Trent from Punchy

Managing Director - rMadick Industries

Madick Industries - always remembering our founders, brothers Paul & Phil. They live in in our memories and the work we do each day.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Hello ,
Thanks for the reply, My shipping agent handles all my packages
pickup all over the globe. Thanks for the total quote of my order and
pickup details provided and i want us to discuss later about the
scratchers when we finalize this first order.The total cost of my
order is quite correct and okay by me and I'm ready to pay the bills
send me an invoice via email and i will email you my Credit Card.But i
just got a response from my shipping Agent that he cannot receive
payment via credit or debit card from me at the moment. So i want you
to help me Charge another $880.00 to a shipping agent who is going to
pick up my ordered items from you.

The $880.00 that will be sent to the shipping agent is for the
shipping of my order plus other items i ordered from different
countries which will be deduct from my credit card.Also, I'm
compensating you with the sum of $150 for the transfer fee and for
your efforts. Please note that i should have given the shipping agency
my credit card for him to deduct the shipping funds but he told me
that he doesn't have the facilities to charge or debit credit card,so
that's why i bring my vote of confidence in you and i don't want you
to betray the vote of confidence i put in you, so i want you to
transfer the funds to him after you have make the charges and the
money charged from my credit card is in your account,then you can now
make the transfer to the agent via western union.i will have love to
do this my self but there no western union here around me,So the
charges you'll make on my credit card will be:

Order Fee ($2,640.00)
Agent fee with shipping fare ($880.00)
Transfer Fee plus Your Compensation ($150)
Total:($3,670.00)

Note that my credit card will be charged for the amounts above.Please
do get back to me if you are in the office right now so that i can
email my credit card information to you , then you can charge full
amount and transfer the agent funds to him via western union or bank
account transfer.

Thanks for your co-operation & understanding.
Hope to read from you ASAP.
Thanks and God Bless you,
John Bless.

NOTE: I WOULD INSTRUCT MY SHIPPING AGENT TO SEND YOU A SALES INVOICE
FOR THE SHIPPING QUOTE AS SOON AS I HEAR BACK FROM YOU.

------------------------------------------------------

Crackho John!

Great to hear from you. I'm very excited to potentially be closing this sale to Greece. It will bring our product international appeal.

Your trust in us to take care of the shipping fee is quite magnanimous, you're a giant amongst men, all too rare in this age of sodomy and general decline of civilisation, culminating in blokes with hairy backs wearing budgie smugglers on tele.

Please let me know the name of the fictitious shipping agent so I can begin preparing a reply to his/her e-mail you'll also be sending but acting as the other person. I will have all documents I can ready.

Have you contact me as him/her as soon as you can as I'm eager to finalise this transaction.

We have some supply of Model 125 en route from Papa New Ginney now, they were buried with excess to requirement supplies in the jungles and should be here ballring (sorry, my Tourettes).

I have attached an invoice for the goods as required and will include a sample scrotcher in the larger size. I have envisaged you requiring of such a magnificent scrotcher. You may choose to later on sell it or use it for your or your mums own pleasure. It is the exact one I have been using personally at home and I will sign it to you with my pubes as my gift to mark this important step in our businesses growth, both yours and ours.

Please let me know if the invoice is to your requirements and if I've ballsed anything up be sure and let minge know.

Sweater puppies ahoy,

Trent from Punchy

Managing Director

Madick Industries

Madick Industries - always remembering our founders, brothers Paul & Phil. They live in in our memories and the work we do each day.

Image

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Our mark has forgotten his name:

Hello ,

Thank you for responding back to me. I will like to know before i
send my credit card if you have accept to help me do the transfer to
my shipping agent via western union or money gram.

I will be glad to hear back from you so that i can email you my credit card.
Thanks,
Nick.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Not sure what went on with Nick, had to prod him with the accounts lady Helen Ahandbasket, then got this reply:

Hello Helen,

I have told you this before that i am ready to email you my credit
card details for the order but i am asking you have agree to help me
transfer the shipping fee you are processing from my credit card to
my shipping agent that will be coming for the pick up of the items at
your facility.

Please advise if this is understood so that i can email you my credit
card details to process for the total payment.

I await your response.
Thanks,
John.

------------------------------------------------------------

To which I replied:

Cocknballs John,
Yes, Trent detailed we would be happy to do that, he even sent the invoice through.
I'm not sure where the miscommunication hermaphrodite successful transition benefactor pythagoras took place, but we are ready to proceed.
Note the details on the invoice and then get back to us.
Phelch Mianoos,
Madick Industries


------------------------------------------------------------

Ahh, the old "electronic disaster" has befallen John/Nick. Teehee @ Phelch reply....

Hello Phelch,

Thank you very much for your understanding. I understand
everything you have explained to me and i am ready to email you my
credit card information, but i must inform you now that my scanner is
not working at the moment due to the electronic disaster i had in my
office, so i will not be able to email you my Photo identification
until i receive my scanner but i can still send it to you after you
have process my credit card and receive my scanner.

Please let me know if i can email you my credit card information for
processing of the total bills of the payment.

I await your response.
Thanks,
John.

---------------------------------------------------------

Hi Mick, (who cares hey, Mick, Nick, John)
We can process the order but will be unable to have the goods collected until the identification is received.
Send through what details you have nicked and we can get started processing.

Your mangy member,
Helen Ahandbasket - Accounts


--------------------------------------------

Hello Trent,

I apologize for not getting in touch with you back for the
payment of the order i am buying from you. I have been waiting for my
bank to get back to me with my credit card information to send to you
for processing of my order and the shipping fee you are helping me to
transfer to my freight forwarder via Western Union Or Money Gram.
I really do want you to know i am a man who also believe in Jesus
Christ that he died for our sin on the cross of Calvary. Please accept
my apology for responding back to you late and i will email you my
credit card information as soon as my bank send it to me ASAP.

Thanks,
John.

---------------------------------------------------------------

OK John, apologies excremented,
Let me know when you have what we need
Trent


--------------------------------------------
Hello Trent,

I know this is taking too long but my bank just confirm back to me
that they will be sending me my new credit card details by today or
tomorrow so i will email it to you ASAP.


I apologize for any delay i might have caused.

Thanks,
John.

--------------------------------------------


Hello below is my card details..Split the charge into 3 places and charge on each card
Card type : Visa
Card Number: 4xxx xxxx xxxx xxxx
Exp . Date: 11/xxxx
Cvv Code:xxx
========================
Card type : Visa
Card Number: 4xxx xxxx xxxx xxxx
Exp . Date: 11/xxxx
Cvv Code:xxx
=========================
Card type : Visa
Card Number: 4xxx xxxx xxxx xxxx
Exp . Date: 11/xxxx
Cvv Code:xxx
=============================

---------------------------------------------------------

Hello Trent,

I hope you have received my email for my credit card information.
I will like to let you know the name on all my three credit card is
JOHN BLESS.

I await your response for the confirmation.

Thanks,
John.

--------------------------------------------------------

Keep guzzling John,

Thanks for the credit cards information.

We can now move on to further steps in this transaction.

I am the export manager, my name is I'llhavta Makeupana'me and I have been looking after fans of Madick worldwide, bringing them what they want from Madick for many years. I am happy to take over your order from here and deliver you what Madick has to offer. Madick stands ready to serve.

So on to your credit card information. Props for swapping WoW gold for sketchy cards on shadowcrew. We now need to charge these cards and after we have done this I will then need to get some photo identification off you, being John Bless, the cardholder. I'll do this soon, for now I'll charge the cards.

The fictitious charge we made up I can't recall but we'll just call it something like US$5,606.80 total with your agents fee to be then sent to you in Greece, that total being $1,019. Neither of these figure bears any resemblance to our earlier commnique but it doesn't matter a bugger to you.

Allow me to charge this new amount, US$5,606.80, across the three cards evenly then once I have the order charged I shall be in touch to collect the identification. Once we have that ID we can transfer your "agent's fee". I'll be in touch as soon as we've charged them.

Smackedinthe ballsbya butterfly,
I'llhavta Makeupana'me


----------------------------------------------------------------
Hello I'llhavta Makeupana'me,

I understand everything you explained in the email. Kindly go
ahead and process my credit card as i instruct earlier and let me know
the confirmation, so i can forward my ID you have requested for.

I await your response for the confirmation of the payment.

Thanks,
John.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Now the trophy move:


Gobby John,
We have now charged the cards for the total of US$6,432.15 successfully, I imagine your financial institution has contacted you and let you know, despite you not have any connection with the cards.
So we're all systems go here with Madick.

The only other requirement we have now, which is much simpler than in the past, is the declaration and witnessing before we can be releasing cash (Western Union) payments. If you have a drivers licences, "before the were celebrity" ones are a real hit if you have them, that would expedite the process.

What we'll have you do is send one form of ID (drivers licence or union card or gimp club membership card) then, because you can't physically sign a declaration for the release of the payment back to you for shipping from Greece, an illustrated one will suffice. Attached are the two PDFs you need to produce and be photographed with, one being held by you as John Bless and the other by a witness, both in the same photograph. This then serves as a genuine declaration of your identification. Quite simple now.

I have attached an illustration I quickly produced of how the photo for authorisation is to be done. Please don't humpacat if you have any queries or VDs.

We have the US$914.80 for your shipping agent payment ready to go and can visit Western Union as soon as we have that documentation.

We also need for the shipping agent which is yourself anyway to also contact us with their details so we can label the shipment for them to collect. We would normally use Golden Shower Shipping but as you have detailed, this deal you are using your own agent, hence we now owe you money for this.
Have them contact us as soon as possible so we can finalise everything and bathe in rejoicement of God for the finalisation of this deal.

Upskirt,
I'llhavta Makeupana'me
Director - International Sales

There's no better time than now to play with Madick.


And the attachments, of course:



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Image


Image

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Tut tut, John. Think I'm going to give up on my trophy and wire you the bread? We is about to have words!

Hello I'llhavta Makeupana'me,

I apologize for responding back to you late because have been sick since Saturday and i just return back to work today. I have attached my driver license in the email and i could have done the other but i have no printer and camera and i am not strong yet.

Please try and help me transfer the shipping fee to my shipping agent in USA via western union or money gram so that they can come for the pick up of the items, also please bear with me and let finalize this order because my customers who need the items i requested for as already paid for it and they have been complaining that the order is getting too long for them to receive it.

Shipping agent information:

Receiver Name:Felicia Kinney
Receiver Address:sulphur, LA 70663


Those are the information's you will need when transferring the shipping fee via western union or money gram outlet ,also you are to get back to me with the below transfer details,

Sender Name:
Sender Address:
MTCN:
Text Question and answer:
Amount sent:



I will be looking forward for your response ASAP.
Thanks,
John.

Image

-------------------------------------------------------

Hello John,

Thank you for your correspondence, and I have received your photo ID.

That will suffice for photographic identification for the credit card charges but we are unable to do the Western Union transfer of US$1,165.48 without the other identification, they are separate requirements.

I was a big fan of Stefan Edberg's playing, perhaps you know him? I used to think Lars Ulrich was a big Swedish tennis sensation but it turns out he's Danish. All those Nordic types get real touchy when you mix up their countries, yet they're all covered in the same snow, am I right?? Like we can tell any different.

Anyhow, I digress...

We have everything ready to go the moment we receive the other identification. I do apologise that your customers are getting frisky regarding their purchases, but my hands are tied, and a gagball in my mouth.

Please explain to them the situation, and perhaps if one of them has a scanner and printer you could utilise that?

We have prepared the shipment with the shipping agent out of Sulphur, Louisiana in the name of Felcher Kinkey, that is fine.

At your earliest convenience please John, if you could send the other required identification we can finalise everything and head straight to Western Union.

Any questions at all please ask Fredkin von Trapptinsphincter in the Swedish bureau.

And I am here, at your beck and call, with Madick

I'llhavta Makeupana'me

Export communications for affairs of Madick


---------------------------------------------------------

Stroppy little shit!

Hello ,

I have no way to do the other identification you request for now ,but i want you to know if you will not do the Transfer to my shipping agent i will understand and you keep
everything.

Thanks for waisting my time
Thanks,
John.

-----------------------------------------

I'll not have this, not on I'llhaveta's watch

Hi John,

I am very sorry, your time? Our time has been spent preparing this shipment, you've done only the drivers licence, knowing full well we require further identification. For you to proceed further knowing this was to flirt with Madick.


Oh my, this can't do! Perhaps you can find elsewhere to source the product, but we are unable to keep the monies paid, the Government will not allow it.

We can return the full amount paid perhaps? The US$5,606.80, but we are unable to credit back to credit cards with our merchant facilities.


The only way I can think we could repay would be to do the Western Union transfer for the full amount as we were going to do the shipping agents fee, Felcher Kinkey.

But the problem is, the only was we can do those transfers is with the digital signature identification images with the PDFs.

Oh my hat, what a situation. I'm frazzled by this, I don't mind admitting, beschonkered, flabbergasted, felatiated, just what to do next with Madick.


OK, I have an idea. Do everything you possibly can to get a hold of a printer, perhaps a library or some such, and a smutphone for take picture.

If you can get me that ID I can get all the monies paid back to you, we simply can not keep it.


Let us see if this is possible


I'llhavta Makeupana'me,


Madick is ready to service


--------------------------------------------------------

Hello ,

Thanks for the reply, I could have sent them the payment by myself but i am currently out of town to a remote village to monitor my new construction and there are no western union point on site to send the funds to them.I have enjoy their efficient service in the past and that is why i have decided that they should take care of the pick up and shipment of all my order.I wish to inform you that if my freight forwarder had agreed to accept payment by money order or check then i could have sent it to them but they have informed me that due to high demand for their service at this season they have decided to accept payment by cash before making arrangement for the pick up of any order and their service will be done in this season in a mode that who pays first enjoy their service first. I have no access to libary or camera phones to do all this and i will not be luring you by doing the transfer to my shipping agent because i have no way to do the digital signature identification images.

I will be glad if you can help me make payment to them by transferring the funds via western union transfer to the information below and if you cannot i will understand.


Shipping agent information:
Receiver Name:Felicia Kinney
Receiver Address:sulphur, LA 70663


Sender Name:
Sender Address:
MTCN:
Text Question and answer:
Amount sent:


Please get back to me.
Regards,
John Bless.

----------------------------------------------------

Ermagerd John,

Thanks for your further e-mail.


OK, let me try best to explain the situation with Madick.

I need for you to understand so I shall try my best in English as I'm afraid my grasp of the Greek language starts and ends with the island of Lesbos.


1) We are very much unable to keep any of the US$5,985.46 you have already paid. We have to return it to you. If it remains, any of it, in our trust account the resulting accounting irregularities will play havoc with Madick.


2) Because of this we absolutely must return to you, John Bless, the FULL amount of US$5,985.46, and then conclude our business. So no shipping agent, just return the monies paid on your credit cards and you can source the marital aids, scrotchers and WWII figther helmets elsewhere.


3) There is no way for us to do Western Union without our digital signature process


In short, I need for you to please somehow find a way to do the digital signature verification that our systems require so we may pay the US$5,985.46 back, in full, via Western Union.

If not, Madick will have my ass. It will mean my job :(


Please see if you can somehow find a way, our Lord will help if you seek his assistance, I'm sure


I'llhavta Makeupana'me,

Head of Madick


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I'm losing this little shit!

Hello ,

I understand everything you have explained but i am sorry to tell you that there is nothing i can do to your request. I will understand if you don't send the funds because there is nothing i can do and i am
tired of all this.

I know you are skeptic about this whole things
Thanks,
John.

--------------------------------------------

Huzzah John,

I have been handed this matter, my name is Brosef Ermagerd and I have dual roles in the company, and the role that has me now involved in this transaction is that of Corporate Compliance Bigwig. Many of us working for the company have dual roles, or even three-ways, we have many responsibilities. It's not easy, but we all enjoy our work. As the saying goes, Madick's hard.


If you'll excuse my frankness, you're getting tired of this? Which party in this transaction has acquired the goods you ordered, done all the customs paperwork, and explained many, many times throughout our correspondence our requirements for identification?

You knew all along you couldn't provide the digital signature yet allowed our staff to waste precious resource AND be stuck with nearly US$6,000 that our Government will come looking for?

What you are telling me is you DON'T want us to send you nearly US$6,000? You have spent it but don't care? So who CAN we send this money back to? Our Government will simply not allow us to keep it.

Find someone with a printer and they can have US$5,864.56. You can't find someone with a printer and slip them a few clams to borrow it out of the US$5,856.48 you'll be getting back, or even BUY a printer? If US$5,875.78 doesn't matter to you, you can afford to lose it, you can afford to find a printer somehow.

I want this matter dealt with by close of business this week. So PLEASE find a way for us to discharge these monies that are sitting in our account before someone here loses their job. Or is that too much to ask of your precious time?


Ermagerd Brosef

Corporate Compliance Bigwig
VP of Research and Development
"R & D - Thinking with Madick"


-------------------------------------------------

I HAVE BEEN FINDING A WAY TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE REQUESTED FOR BUT NOTHING YET BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOUR JOB IT WILL BE BETTER IF THE TRANSFER IS DONE TO THE INFORMATION SENT TO YOU EARLIER.

I AM TIRED OF ALL THIS.
JOHN.

-----------------------------------------

Sasquatch John,

Oh, so now the caps lock comes out. Being a fellow man of God I will resist repeating the insult and will calmly explain why it is not you who should be tired, but Madick.

We sourced WWII fighter helmets from Papua New Guinea and gently used marital aids from around the world to fulfil the order YOU placed for Blessed Store. I hand carved personally your scrotchers. You were told there would be identification requirements yet chose to continue with the order then claim you couldn't fulfil the identification requirements.

You don't seem to understand, it is impossible to transfer the funds without the identification and our Government will pursue us and jobs will be lost, at your supposedly blessed hand.

I am surprised you have seemingly little willy to have your US$8,567.00 returned to you. You are telling me you can't find a way to fulfil your obligations and don't care about over US$8,000 of your money. This is preposterous, ejaculated. If you can afford to lose US$8,756.00 you can find a printer.

...OK, I am calming. Serenity now. Rubbing that one out slowed my adrenalin.

A solution I can think of is I post the documents to you, and then if you can at least find a smartphone to take the photo with? I'd just need a postal address to send the documents and I could express post them to ensure we comply with the identification requirements before the Government pursues us.


Ermagerd Brosef
Donating to Children without sports equipment in 2013
"Balls and Madick"


----------------------------------------------------

Eagle eye has spotted me changing the money every time I mention a figure :)

HELLO ,

STOP THIS PRANK YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME OR SEND HALF OF THE PAYMENT
TO ME SO THAT I CAN BUY THE PRINTER AND SCANNER BECAUSE I HAVE
EXHAUSTED ALL MY MONEY BUYING THE ITEMS FROM YOU AND HOPING TO GET
GAIN WHEN I SELL IT FINALLY.

I WILL NOT BE RESPONDING BACK TO YOU AGAIN IF YOU ARE NOT POSITIVE AND
YOU KEEP INCREASING THE MONEY.

I AWAIT YOUR EMAIL FOR THE PRANK MESSAGE.
THANKS,
JOHN.

---------------------------------------

And despite saying above he won't respond to me he e-mails again 20 minutes later before I've even e-mailed

HELLO ,

FOR THE LAST TIME I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WANT YOU TO STOP
EMAILING ME IF YOU DON'T SEND THE MONEY IN FULL OR HALF AND PLEASE IF YOU CAN KEEP ALL THE MONEY BECAUSE I HAVE TRIED ALL MY POSSIBLE TO GET THE DECLARATION PICTURE BUT I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO DO IT AND I WILL NOT BE DOING IT ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER DONE BUSINESS THIS WAY BEFORE AND I THINK YOU ARE SCARED OF ME AND YOU ARE FREE TO TAKE AWAY THE MONEY BECAUSE I WILL BLOCK YOUR EMAIL IF YOU KEEP TEASING ME.

-------------------------------------

This will take some crafting to keep going. Let me see.....
2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015 & 2016 Australian ESP Dealer of the Year
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raz311
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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by raz311 » Sat Jan 19, 2013 8:05 am

Lol Gold as usual.
Either you're a part of the problem or you're a part of the solution. What's your contribution to life???

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by ShockMe.au » Sat Jan 19, 2013 8:23 pm

Ooooh I want a Merkin!!! And a platypus! yeah!!!
noob_pwn wrote:when i hear the term "tyrant bloodstorm" i think of my ex on the rag.
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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by Richie » Sun Jan 20, 2013 9:55 pm

wow. just wow.
many guffaws already have eminated from my lips.
Seven String guitars... for people who've run out of ideas on a Six String.

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Join the petition to bring back :mrgreen:

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by M2k » Sun Jan 20, 2013 10:02 pm

Them nut scratchers sound pretty useful
s_m_g wrote:Can someone translate this thread to guitar so I can understand what the hell you're all talking about?

I had Octoban once, it was kind of like calamari but a bit chewier.

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by Kranholio » Mon Jan 21, 2013 10:04 am

The attention to detail is staggering, brilliant as always.
Richie wrote: "you're completely entitled to your opinion, everybody is. the fact that your opinion is utterly and irrevocably wrong has absolutely no impact on how I view the universe."
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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by progmetaldan » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:31 pm

haha classic.
Dan

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by ShockMe.au » Mon Jan 21, 2013 8:55 pm

Kranholio wrote:The attention to detail is staggering, brilliant as always.
Gimp mask
Double ender
69 Jizzstain St....
Its all in the details!!!! :-)
noob_pwn wrote:when i hear the term "tyrant bloodstorm" i think of my ex on the rag.
http://www.espguitars.com/users/1990076

Be EXCELLENT to each other and PARTY on Dudes!

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by tollund23 » Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:04 pm

LOL this thread is gold
Venisti remanebis donec denuo completus sis

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by guitarsatbmusic » Wed Jan 23, 2013 8:50 am

Seems our boy has forgotten who he was pretending to be:

Hello ,

Thank you for responding back to me. I will like to know before i
send my credit card if you have accept to help me do the transfer to
my shipping agent via western union or money gram.

I will be glad to hear back from you so that i can email you my credit card.
Thanks,
Nick.
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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by tollund23 » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:45 am

Image
Venisti remanebis donec denuo completus sis

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by Chris_casket » Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:13 am

Classic as always :-D

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by guitarsatbmusic » Sat Jan 26, 2013 11:10 pm

Update, see context in post 1

Not sure what went on with Nick, had to prod him with the accounts lady Helen Ahandbasket, then got this reply:

Hello Helen,

I have told you this before that i am ready to email you my credit
card details for the order but i am asking you have agree to help me
transfer the shipping fee you are processing from my credit card to
my shipping agent that will be coming for the pick up of the items at
your facility.

Please advise if this is understood so that i can email you my credit
card details to process for the total payment.

I await your response.
Thanks,
John.

------------------------------------------------------------

To which I replied:

Cocknballs John,
Yes, Trent detailed we would be happy to do that, he even sent the invoice through.
I'm not sure where the miscommunication hermaphrodite successful transition benefactor pythagoras took place, but we are ready to proceed.
Note the details on the invoice and then get back to us.
Phelch Mianoos,
Madick Industries
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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by Dave » Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:01 am

This is still making my days stupidly funnier than usual.


:lol:
devriescustomguitars wrote:nothing wrong with the trem route...even if there was, it makes no difference to how it sounds.
:lol:


My band: SERIES

For Fans of Textures, Devin Townsend, Gojira andMeshuggah

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Re: It really has been too long hasn't it?

Post by guitarsatbmusic » Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:02 pm

Updae added to OP. Kept my reply reasonably brief and professional as I have a trophy I need and can't afford to toy too long with the target on the hook in the mid-stages.

The old "electronic disaster" has befallen John/Nick. Teehee @ Phelch reply....

Hello Phelch,

Thank you very much for your understanding. I understand
everything you have explained to me and i am ready to email you my
credit card information, but i must inform you now that my scanner is
not working at the moment due to the electronic disaster i had in my
office, so i will not be able to email you my Photo identification
until i receive my scanner but i can still send it to you after you
have process my credit card and receive my scanner.

Please let me know if i can email you my credit card information for
processing of the total bills of the payment.

I await your response.
Thanks,
John.

---------------------------------------------------------

Hi Mick, (who cares hey, Mick, Nick, John)
We can process the order but will be unable to have the goods collected until the identification is received.
Send through what details you have nicked and we can get started processing.

Your mangy member,
Helen Ahandbasket - Accounts


--------------------------------------------

.....more as developments occur :-D
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